I have been forced to tell this story. I really didn't want this to get out. It's so very undignified. Really, it wasn't my fault.
After all, how was I to know that my prolonged inspection of the morning would piss the lasses off quite so badly?! How was I to know that thunder lurking about in the background would make the ladies even more peeved on top of that!? And honestly, how was I to know that sticking my face up so close the mouseguard would precipitate so much disaster and misfortune!?!?
What turned out to be the most swollen, lumpy afternoon of my life got even worse when I realised I was due to get new passport photos the next day.
Who knew that two small stings - one on my forehead, and one on the tip of my nose - would swell to such engorged proportions?! And why couldn't they have stung on my lips instead, so I could have bee-stung lips like Angelina Jolie's?! Or Mick Jagger ...
It's a relief, at least, to know that no one will ever recognise me from my passport photos. The only problem now is - will I ever be allowed to cross a border again, with that passport!?
* Darwin Awards
I want to feel your shame. I want to empathise with your humiliation. I try to relate to your misfortune and suffering.
ReplyDeleteBut somehow the laughter just stops me. :) xxx